Chapter 7

Gu Chen frowned slightly. He never expected that the Crown Prince would speak of himself like this: “Your Royal Highness…”

He Ziming put down his cup of wine and gave him a deep look.

“Changfeng …” Gu Chen was surprised and obediently changed his manner of speaking again.

Although He Ziming’s self-evaluation was a bit strange coming from his own mouth, Gu Chen had to admit that what he said was true …

People like He Ziming are not suitable to be the emperor.

Although Gu Chen is happy that He Ziming is so very good to He Zisheng, even from this matter he can see one or two weaknesses… He Ziming is not good at courtly tricks and cannot capture the hearts of his courtiers. Although he has done so much in the dark for He Zisheng, he chooses to hide it, when instead he could earn He Zisheng’s gratitude and love by exposing the matter…

But He Ziming didn’t choose to do that.

But no matter how much he agreed with He Ziming’s self-assessment, Gu Chen, as his courtier and right-hand man, could not openly agree with such self-deprecating and condescending words. Gu Chen could only be silent in front of the Crown Prince’s self-disgust.

He Ziming picked up his wine again, took a sip, and drunkenly squinted his eyes at Gu Chen: “Why is Ziqing not talking anymore? Changfeng thought that Ziqing would give a few words of comfort to this lonely orphan.”

Gu Chen froze.

“Now it seems that Ziqing’s silence shows that Ziqing agrees with this prince, and also thinks that this prince cannot bear the responsibilities of his position?” He Ziming took another deep drink of wine and took it upon himself to raise the subject.

Gu Chen startled to his feet, gritted his teeth, and repeatedly demonstrated his loyalty to him by bowing: “Your Royal Highness, this small official has no such belief, this small minister is afraid, and asks that the Crown Prince does not suspect his loyal official.”

His companion is like a tiger, even if Gu Chen and He Ziming had become so intimate in the last month… But Gu Chen has not forgotten for a moment that the other party is the Crown Prince.

Nor did he forget how uncertain the temperament of He Ziming is.

“How many times has Changfeng told Gu Chen? Don’t call me by my title. Just call me Changfeng. It seems … Ziqing still has never considered me as a friend, like he treats Xiao Zisheng …” He Ziming made a low cry with a sad smile.

Gu Chen did not dare to speak in front of him, and instead repeated again and again: “This small official does not have this intention.”

“Even if you have this intention, it’s okay.” He Ziming looked at Gu Chen’s bewitching face for a moment, and said quietly: “Tonight, you and I are speaking the truth, not temptation or flattery. Gu Chen, the court, even I myself think that I am not suitable to be crown prince, or the future emperor.”

He followed Gu Chen’s words, saying quietly at last: “This Prince… No, I never wanted to be the emperor.”

He Ziming poured another full cup of wine.

The position of the crown prince was given to He Ziming at the moment of his birth by the emperor. No one has ever asked He Ziming if he even wanted the seat that everyone else in court fought for… Instead, they stripped him of his position by pushing him into a pit, forcing mistake after mistake onto the crown prince’s head.

Gu Chen froze, stunned that the crown prince would expose his heart to him like this.

After considering a moment, Gu Chen chose courtly manners over truth, and coaxed politely, “Your Highness is the future emperor …”

“It will only ever be the future, never the emperor. From the beginning, this position was given to me by my father. I don’t want it, and it’s not appropriate. Every brother of mine, including Zisheng, is much more suitable for the the throne. I have always thought they are much better than me.” He Ziming said.

Gu Chen paused slightly, but eventually chose to speak cliches, and said very politely, “Please do not be so modest.”

He came from a very cautious and prudent family. Even though He Ziming now seemed to trust him and deal with him fairly, he is afraid it is merely a trick, so Gu Chen chooses to maintain a cautious attitude with the crown prince. Not only did he not dare to speak of these sensitive issues with He Ziming, he won’t reveal even a fraction of the thoughts he keeps in his heart.

“I think, that after such a long time together, Ziqing has also realized how I feel about you, right?” He Ziming did not correct his title any more. Rather, he suddenly changed the subject and confessed to Gu Chen.

Gu Chen was startled: “Your Royal Highness?”

Although he knew that He Ziming probably liked men, and that he was interested in himself, He Ziming’s sudden shattering of all pretense shocked him. He didn’t know how to answer He Ziming’s confession.

“Your Royal Highness has had too much wine,” he said only a moment later.

Gu Chen wanted to escape, but He Ziming would not let him off.

He Ziming fixedly looked at him, his eyes burning: “Zi Qing should know that I love you.”

The Crown Prince’s sincere heart was revealed to Gu Chen.

Gu Chen hesitated for a moment and answered He Ziming very rigorously: “…this small official is very grateful.”

It is an honor for a subject to be loved by the royal family, and He Ziming is the crown prince. Even if Gu Chen hates He Ziming’s confession, he can’t show the slightest bit of disgust …

“Grateful but not moved. Gratitude is just gracious refusal. I understand your feelings.” He Ziming didn’t care about his polite rejection, and didn’t wait for him to finish his words. He Ziming interrupted him first, and poured another glass of wine, draining the cup as he smiled bitterly.

The crown prince’s expression was very lonely. Gu Chen also felt a twinge of heartache for the dejected prince, and unconsciously opened his mouth to comfort him: “Your Royal Highness…”

No one can hate someone who sincerely loves themselves, especially if that man is such a noble person as the crown prince.

“I like men, and have ever since I was young. Towards women … for me, it’s totally impossible.” He Ziming drunkenly treated Gu Chen as a hole in a tree, confiding: “I realized this when I was young. At that time, I was terrified and felt like I was cursed and abandoned by the gods and heaven. People like me are destined to have no offspring and be spurned by the world … I am a complete waste. “

Gu Chen was swayed by his words: “Your Royal Highness …”

As a member of a distinguished family, when he realized he was a cutsleeve, his mental journey was almost the same as He Ziming …

He Ziming’s words resonated with him.

He is not close to any women, and he doesn’t even keep a concubine or bedservant in the house. The entire court praises him for being clean and self-conscious. He is considered to be one of the best gentleman in the nobility, but no one knows that he actually likes men.

“Once, I even thought of self harm, thinking of wanting to reincarnate. After all, how can a person like me be a crown prince and become the emperor? I might as well die.” He Ziming smiled wryly.

“Later, when I thought about it seriously, I realized I was much luckier than most people in this world. My way of life, being born with a golden spoon, it would be much too ungrateful to throw it away. I’m afraid that Lord Yan would be disgusted and force me to reincarnate as a lowly beast in my next life.”

Gu Chen listened to him quietly, and his eyes completely reflecting the crown prince.

He Ziming said stutteringly, “But even if I like men, I … I don’t dare to mess around. In the end, I am still the crown prince, and I have to be decent, and I don’t want to harm others by forcing them to accept my attentions. I never met someone like myself until I saw you, and saw how you look at Xiao Shengzi… I suddenly thought you might be a person like me.”

“Your Royal Highness-” Gu Chen was startled, and his body tensed like a startled bird.

It never occurred to him that He Ziming actually saw that he was also a cutsleeve, and then became interested in him. Gu Chen immediately wanted to deny it.

The next moment, He Ziming interrupted him directly and gave him a way to step down, clearly not intending to out Gu Chen: “But perhaps I saw what I wanted to see, having never seen such a noble and handsome man as Gu Chen. Perhaps it was my own fantasy.” “

Gu Chen breathed a sigh of relief, and was extremely grateful to him.

“Moreover, even if you are a fellow person who likes men, I am not worthy of such a noble and good man.” He Ziming said.

Gu Chen had to comfort: “Your Royal Highness doesn’t have to be so humble.”

“Your Royal Highness, even now you still call me Your Royal Highness. However, it doesn’t matter … I won’t correct you anymore. I believe Ziqing will one day be willing to call me by my name.” He Ziming interrupted him directly.

Gu Chen fixedly looked at him, waiting for the drunk He Ziming to say what he wished to say.

He Ziming looked at him with a smile, and said: “Even if you can’t do that … I and Zi Qing share the same interests, I believe that we can become friends in the future.”

He Ziming’s eyes were too transparent, making Gu Chen speechless for a while.

In the past, He Ziming made many decisions that were poor and illogical in Gu Chen’s eyes, causing Gu Chen to always believe that the crown prince was stupid and incompetent. But today, He Ziming and Gu Chen spoke for a long time together, and after drinking, he talked candidly. Now, Gu Chen changed his belief that He Ziming didn’t know what to do to be the best. He Ziming was capable of seeing through people, of pleasing courtiers and earning a good reputation. Rather, he is disdainful and unwilling to do so.

He Ziming knew his worth, and was content to merely know the joy of fish from afar (TN: A Taoist saying about how one should experience the joy of fish swimming freely in a river by walking alongside the riverbank; it’s a philosophical point about choosing one’s own happiness) … He wasn’t a greedy or selfish person.

Ever since the drunken confession of that day, Gu Chen’s favorability towards He Ziming exploded, doubling from the previous 20 points to 45 points. Gradually, Gu Chen’s attitude even became clear to outsiders. In front of the crown prince, Gu Chen no longer spoke cautiously, but rather spoke freely and without fear.

He Ziming was very glad to see Gu Chen change his attitude. He felt Gu Chen’s feeling towards himself is becoming incrementally warmer. What is lacking now is an opportunity to deepen his relationship with Gu Chen again.

He Ziming secretly asked the system: “System, what kind of opportunity do you think I need to deepen my relationship with Gu Chen while maintaining the crown prince’s character?”

He just asked casually.

The system was annoyed with He Ziming, and ignored him again: “…”

He Ziming wasn’t speaking seriously. He did not expect that a heavenly disaster could arrive so quickly to brush his feelings with Gu Chen.

TN: This is one of my fav chapters in the arc. I love drunk He Ziming and his real talk.

TN2: The line about treating him as a hole in a tree is literally verbatim from the raws. I checked it through 3 different sources. Best guess is it’s the Chinese equivalent saying to the English saying about a tree in the middle of the woods with no one around to hear it.